I am hopeless today. I feel like having many persons in one body. And some of them hate the other so immensely. There's no place for all of them. No good or bad; no right or wrong. Just different. Different enough to make the high tide of disharmony. I want to kill them. I want to be sure once and for all. It's not like having an angel on one shoulder and the devil on another. My inner inhabitants are without an origin or particular conviction. I never know when I'm absolutely right. I never know when I'm wrong. When I'm happy there's something sad. When I'm sad there's something happy about it. I'm not sure that my trail of life is actually existent. I'm moving towards something; I'm doing the things that I love to do seeing some deep meaning in them. Then there's someone inside me who says that I have no future if I carry on this way. These actions have no purpose in them. No real meaning. I'm on my way and in the same time I'm far from it. How can it be? I'm the human being with the god's dreams and needs. I cannot satisfy my soul nor my body. I never will. Somehow it's never enough for everyone inside me. These little somethings strive to be leaders. I'm not sure who leads me today; who led me yesterday when I did what I've done. Who's saying all of this? Who's saying again that I'm in the wrong place, the wrong time and, surely, in the wrong body?
I feel all over insane.
1 Comment
soul
10/23/2011 11:33:00 pm
bezgala dziļais Burves skatiens....
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