I cannot fall asleep and I came to get rid off my thoughts.
There are no gods, no guardian angels, no spirits, no mythical creatures, no dead ones who watch over us, no saints, no aliens; there are no one who waits for us in the other world, no one to keep forever. Everything happens in our heads. All miracles and sorrows - just hallucinations. Reality is the only path and no matter how many illusionary paths we make in our heads. Reality is the only one road under our feet, even if we can't realize it. We can accept it; we can deny it. Indeed, the roads of our imagination are numberless but, sadly, we cannot make them to erase the truth.
This is a dark and fatal truth.
And I want to hold my soulmate close. Anytime anywhere the life can take her from me in its cruel randomness as it always does killing innocents and giving birth to cripples.
I want to feel that pleasure of someone real and palpable beside me. Someone that breathes, speaks, sees, thinks, exists before my eyes and in my hands. And I have her now in this life for unpredictable time and that's one of the things I must appreciate. She is a real wonder beside me, a wingless angel, a mortal vampire, the one who hears my prayers.
I want to feel what's real and alive, I want to stop creating false tracks and believing in false truths. There's no need to pity yourself with beautiful and pleasurable fantasies about the life after life and wonders to come. The Earth itself is a real wonder full of wonders. Another thing to appreciate. There's so much to learn about humanity but we devote ourselves to gods and endless dogmas.
Creating illusions is a wonderful ability. What would I do without fantasy books and breathtaking myths? Without it the life would be less colourful less enjoyable. Meaningless. Lifeless. But turning illusions into religions and beliefs... wrong wrong wrong. Is it something that would work like a ship to Wonderland when the time comes? It's a straight road to Disappointmentland. The belief may make you stronger but it won't make you a winner. Even the strongest faith can't make an illusion true. It can only make it true in your head. Painfully and sickly true. Religious mind is incurable.
Don't let it happen and you know why.
Between The Lines